Down the aisle lida pushed you, waking very stiffly as he went, his nervous gaze switching from left to right as you hummed happily to yourself in the cart.
“Weeeeee~” you sung, raising your arms up as he went around a corner.
“Please refrain from any frivolities, Y/N,” Iida said strictly.
“B000,” you sung, putting your arms down and turning around in the trolley to kneel up and put your face close to his over the bar.
“Please, sit down!” he directed, letting go of the trolley and chopping his arm at you while using the momentum of the cart to roll along so that he could reprimand you with his one free arm.
You quickly reached out and grabbed his face then dragged yourself and the trolley towards him and planted a kiss on his lips.
Without warning, after completing your kiss, you spun back around and sat down but as you spun your shift in weight steered the cart off course and it crashed into one of the nearby shelves, knocking some tins into the trolley and into your lap.
“Manna from the gods!” you yelled with joy, “oh wait… these are tins of… something random… I don’t even know what this stuff is, never mind. Not Manna.”
As lida grabbed the cart and berated you for your actions, you lifted the tins back onto the shelf and sat back down again, apologizing for being reckless.
“We must act in an acceptable manner in this store,” lida reminded you, “we are a representation of the school and—,”
“Onward!” you implored once more, directing lida to move forward again.
“Did you hear me, Y/N?” he asked sternly.
“Yep. Loud and clear, captain, now let’s keep it movin’!” you encouraged.
Up and down aisles you were pushed, occasionally halting Iida so you could reach out over the sides of the trolley to get items.
“Ok next aisle,” you said, looking up at the signs ahead and grinning deviously when you saw ‘furniture’ at the bottom of the list.
“Surely you have everything you need?” lida asked as he looked down at you, sitting cross legged in the bottom of the cart with random goods surrounding you.
“Nope,” you replied, withholding a smirk, “got a few more things to get.”
“What else could you possibly need?” he asked.
You had your sights set in the direction he was pushing you, eyes scanning the shelves at the end of the aisle for one item in particular.
“Mmmmmm…. just something,” you hummed.
lida looked up and saw chairs at the end of the line and stopped abruptly.
“Y/N,” he whispered fearfully.
“Tenya, forward,” you commanded.
“No,” he whispered with horror, “the chairs…”
“Tenya. No! Don’t reverse! Forward!” You cackled, grabbing onto the sides of the cart and trying to rock it forward with your weight as he pulled the cart back.
“I cannot see such deplorable furniture,” he said in a stricken voice, pulling the cart back the way you guys had come.
“N0000,” you wailed dramatically, getting up and leaning out over the front of the cart with your hand outstretched towards the disappearing furniture section, “goodbye three-legged chair!”
“We must leave this store, post haste!” Iida implored, which made you lose it, cackling away in the cart as he pushed you into the next aisle.
“No, no, no I need to show you the chair!” you said, standing up and leaping out over the side, “come on!”
lida fought you the whole way but you managed to drag him and the cart down the aisle to the furniture section then stood your ground as you looked for the ‘quick buy’ items.
“Tenya!” you gasped.
“What is it?” he asked fearfully.
“There!” You pointed.
lida’s eyes followed your pointing finger and paled.
“The three legged chair. A cursed item.” He breathed in horror.
You grinned excitedly. “I’mma buy it.”
“No! You are not! I will not stand for this. Raise your standards, Y/N, you are better than this!”
You had never laughed so hard in your life, doubling over as Iida dashed around the cart and grabbed you around the waist with his free arm then dragged you off down the aisle mumbling something about ‘therapy’ with his psychologist while tears of laughter spilled from your eyes.
He finally managed to convince you to leave the chair there, then you grabbed some cheese from the fridge section and hopped back into the cart for the final leg to the check out line.
With head down, you moved things around in the bottom of the cart and prepared to hop out once more, finally shifting things enough to get your legs free and jump from the side.
“Ok, see? That wasn’t that bad, was it?” you asked lida, looking at him and noticing that he was staring at the person ahead of you in the line.
You followed his gaze and saw the person ahead was in bright red heels, fluorescent yellow leggings, and a pink sleeveless top.
“There are some very avant-garde looks here,” you whispered to lida, “there’s a page on the Internet dedicated to the people of Walmart and their interesting dress styles. I don’t know if it extends to Seiyu-Walmart but it probably does.”
“I did not know they sold heels in that size,” lida commented, amazed by the sheer length of the shoe as the wearer turned their foot side on.
“Probably bought them on Aisle 4,” you mused, “that was the clothing aisle.”
lida nodded, “this has by far been more educational than I ever thought possible. Thank you for bringing me.”
“You’re welcome!” you replied with a smile, your smile fading as you looked to your right and saw an older lady scowling heavily at you.
You just stared right back at her before she huffed and walked away.
“Bitch, what the fuck was her problem?” you scowled before your attention was drawn to the checkout as the line moved along.
After buying everything, Iida helped you get all your things back home and you invited him to stay but he insisted that he go home.
“After today, I feel I need to debrief with my psychologist,” he said with a shudder and you had to bite your tongue to hide the smirk, “then I must see if I can arrange a meeting between Principal Craig and your mother.”
“Actually yeah,” you said with a smile, “go and do that. I hope they get to meet. I think it would be very therapeutic for the two of them.”
Iida nodded. “My sentiments exactly. I will see you tomorrow.”
You leaned up and gave him a kiss goodbye before seeing him off.