A/N: Gets a tiny bit steamy folks, strongly sexual lyrics ahead 😉
“What do mean, not smooth and white? This potato isn’t peeled yet.”
“This is the outer skin?” he asked, pointing to it with his free hand as he held it in his sling bound hand.
“Yes? Tenya, do you not know what a potato is?” you chuckled, “are you that rich that you’ve never had to peel a potato before?”
“It is not because of my family wealth, I just have never pursued kitchen hobbies,” he replied defensively.
“Ok. I’m going to teach you how to peel a potato… this is ridiculous,” you said, handing him a peeler and shaking your head.
“How does this contraption work?” he asked as he looked it over.
“Come over to the sink. The peelings are going to fall in there, then we’ll put them in the bin later,” you said, guiding him by the elbow to the sink.
He got into position and looked down at the potato then placed the peeler against it.
“Yep,” you encouraged, “that’s good, now drag the peeler down.”
lida followed instructions and a thin strip of potato skin came free then fell off into the sink and he just stared at it.
“Extraordinary,” he uttered in amazement, looking back at the potato in his hand, “and how often is this technique applied?”
“Until the whole potato is peeled,” you replied, amused by his baffled reaction to peeling a potato for the first time.
“This is a lengthy process,” he commented after doing a few more swipes and seeing that it really hadn’t peeled much of the potato.
“Yep. But if you want potatoes…and I do, you gotta put in the hard yards.”
“This is phenomenal,” he uttered again, watching as the potato was slowly peeled to completion- then grinned brightly when he had completed it.
“Good job,” you said with a small chuckle, taking the potato from him, “now we need about 5 more.”
“5?!” he gasped.
“Yes,” you replied, “you need more than one potato to feed people.”
“I will peel the other 5 as well!” he said confidently, walking back to the fridge to get another one.
“You can bring them out, Tenya, they don’t need to stay in the fridge till the last minute.”
“Of course,” he said, pulling another 4 potatoes out and looking at them, fascinated.
You shook your head and kept on preparing dinner while lida peeled the other 4 potatoes.
“What other delicacies will we be having for tonight’s dinner?” he asked once he had finished up with the potatoes and they were on the stove cooking.
“Well… we have macARONI IN A POT,” you said, suddenly being taken over by the lyrics to the song.
lida looked at you confused so you continued.
“THAT’S A WET ASS PUSSY.”
“Y/N!” he gasped, face flushing red instantly.
“What? It’s a song?” you replied with a nonchalant shrug.
“I find it very hard to believe that that would be a song,” he replied, still sporting a bright red blush.
“It’s my study music,” you replied with a chuckle.
“I refuse to believe it is of classical origin. Classical music is preferred for optimizing the brain for study,” lida said, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
“No. This song isn’t classical… but it’s iconic,” you leered back at him, “you know what, I think you need to hear it. No wait, you DEFINITELY need to hear it.”
You quickly grabbed your phone then pulled your small speak over and synced them up.
“Ok, you ready for this?” you asked with a cheeky smirk, pressing play on the YouTube video.
The music started- along with the catchphrase being chanted in the background- and you jumped in and chanted along.
“There’s some whores in this house, there’s some whores in this house,” you belted out at the top of your lungs.
“Y/N!” lida gasped with a mortified look on his face.
You turned and grabbed the front of his shirt and body rolled against him as cardi sang the first like, with you lip syncing with her.
“I said, certified freak… Seven days a week… Wet-ass pussy, Make that pull-out game weak!”
lida’s face strongly resembled the colour of a slapped ass, remaining frozen as you spun around and dropped to the floor, bouncing on your heels with knees spread out before slowly standing up-ass coming up first as you continued to lip sync to the song.
You reached back to him as you straightened and strutted towards the lounge, pulling him along behind you.
Feeling the song, you turned and grabbed him with both hands then moved him so that he was against the lounge and pushed him firmly to make him sit down.
He fell backwards quickly and slumped back, legs spreading apart as you straddled him and grabbed under his chin then tilted his head up to look at you.
“Hop on top, I wanna ride,” you sung, “I do a kegel, while it’s inside.”
His mouth fell open with shock and you grinned in return, still lip sync-ing.
While the song continued you flirted it up with him occasionally biting into your bottom lip or rolling your hips against his, which he would quickly halt lest you feel just how excited he was with this erotic display.
“Macaroni in a POT, for this wet ass pussy,” you sung, “gimme everything you GOT for this wet ass pussy.”
“Y/N, this song is far too explicit, this is pornographic!” lid a stammered, trying to maintain his composure as you pressed your hands into his chest.
“You loved it, Tenya, don’t lie,” you hummed
You leaned back down to kiss him and found that his lips were very warm and his mouth- a little more wet than usual. As soon as your lips met his, he deepened the kiss and reached to caress your face, pulling it closer and you gave in to him and pulled your body against his, knees either side of his hips.
“His heart is racing!” You thought, feeling it hammering away against your chest as you pushed into him a little more needily.
His hand slid from your cheek, down your side then to your waist and slowly on to your ass, his body starting to move on its own as he slid a little further under you.
You pushed yourself against him, feeling a very firm bulge pressing against you as your hips rocked involuntary against his.
“I-I apologize,” he suddenly gasped, catching himself and sitting up while adjusting his glasses that had fallen a little skewed on his face.
“Don’t apologize,” you chuckled, “I’m as turned on as you are.”
“This is very dangerous,” he said softly, “I cannot trust myself alone with you… I fear that something extramarital may occur.”