Your feet pounded the pavement as you raced down the side street, mind going a million miles an hour.
“Late. Again. Why am I always late? Is it because I’m the protagonist? I don’t want to be a main character any more. I want to be a side character… or a dog. Dogs have the best life… ok focus, short cut. I need a short cut…”
Your eyes flicked to the right and you quickly scanned the fence-line as you ran, mental mapping the road running parallel on the other side of these buildings that would line you up the best with the back fence of the school.
“One… two, three, yes! That one!”
Taking a slightly wider arch as you ran, you swung out, then turned and lined yourself up directly with the brick fence in front of you now and lunged at it, stretching as far as you could to grab a hold of the top of the fence to pull yourself up.
“YES!! I AM A CAT!”
With the momentum of your run and jump, still in play, you pulled yourself up, did a press up, then jumped and landed down on the grass on the other side.
“Oh shoot! What if they have a dog?!”
You hadn’t thought this through… obviously, landing in some random’s backyard…
Taking off, again, at a dead sprint to the opposite end of the yard, you called upon every fiber of your being to help you jump high enough to grab the top of the other brick fence lining that side.
“Think light thoughts!” you hollered out loud, throwing yourself at the bricks and somehow managing to grab just enough of a handful of the top of the fence to pull yourself up and throw a leg over.
It was a bit of a scramble, but you made it, with scratched up legs and all, then dropped down on the other side and ran for the back fence of the school which, thankfully, was a wooden one that was half bent over… definitely not from you constantly jumping over it and knocking it sideways…
(Ok, yeah, it was.)
With the last hurdle cleared- and whacked with your shoe, knocking the wooden fence that little bit further over, you sprinted across the school oval with your hands in the air.
“YASS BITCHES! Zombies could never catch me. I am speed!” you shouted across the vacant oval and into the, pretty much empty, school.
Slowing to a jog, you got to the stairs and started the climb, panting like mad as you stepped up the last step and dragged yourself to your locker.
“God,” you wheezed, “I wish I had a second set of lungs so that I could swap these out when they died on me… like they usually do.”
“Who died?” your classmate asked as she approached you.
“I did,” you wheezed.
“No, you didn’t. You’re here in front of me.”
“I’m a ghost.”
“Ok, well, can you hurry up? We can’t start the committee meeting without you and you’re taking forever,” she said impatiently.
“Wait,” you grunted, pushing your hand into the bottom of your bag to find your keys, “I’m trying to find Jeff.”
“Who is Jeff?”
“You named your keys Jeff?” She asked with one eyebrow raised.
“Yes?” you replied, giving her a look that said ‘don’t you name your keys?’
While you maintained eye contact with her, your swishing hand got more and more agitated when it couldn’t locate the keys and you let out an anguished cry of annoyance.
“Where the bloody hell???”
Then you promptly upended the bag on top of your head to see if you could locate the keys with your eyes, while literally everything fell out of your bag onto you… then once everything had fallen out, you shoved the bag down onto your head.
“What the hell?!” the classmate yelped.
“Go and start the stupid committee meeting, I don’t wanna be there anyway! I never asked to be on it!” you yelled from inside your upended school bag.
“You’re on the committee as punishment from the teacher remember?!” The classmate yelled, hoping it would get through the thickness of the bag, to your ears.
“Punishment?!” you scoffed, pulling the bag off and then shaking it upside down, “I told the truth.”
“No. You were asked to stay back and clean the classroom and then when the teacher came back and asked if you were done you said yes and then left. But the teacher said the room was still a mess so when you were questioned then next day and she asked you why you hadn’t cleaned the room you said “but you asked if I was done. And I was. I was done and wanted to go home, so I left” and she said that was inappropriate and then you got in trouble.”
“Yeah, but if she had asked if I had finished cleaning the room she would have gotten a better answer. It’s not my fault she chose the wrong wording— WHERE THE HELL IS JEFF?!”
“Where did you see them last?” the classmate asked with an angry sigh, annoyed that this was taking so damn long.
“Did you leave them at home?” she asked.
“No. I definitely know that I had them with me when I left because I accidentally dropped them and punted them into the door and then apologized to the door.”
“You apologized to the door?”
“Yeah? Don’t you? Poor door.”
The classmate blinked at you, then shook her head.
“Ok, whatever, so you had them. Then came to school. What happened on the way to school?”
“Well, I was running because I’m the main character and then I took a short cut because… reasons… and I jumped the fence and then the other one and… oh fudge nuggets and soggy waffle cones…”
“What?” she asked.
“Damn.” You felt your pockets then looked out over the oval towards the back fence where you had jumped it. “They must have fallen out when I jumped the fence…”
“Well go and get them then!” the classmate snapped.
You grunted and then crouched down to repack your school bag but your classmate stopped you.
“No! You go get your keys and I’ll pack your bag. Go!”
“YES SIR!” you suddenly shouted, jumping up and saluting, then clicking your heels before turning and bolting for the stairs.
Earlier that morning, Kenma Kozume, had been sitting in his room by the window, playing his PSP- as was his usual habit, when something human fell over his back fence and ran across his yard.
From where he sat, he got a clear view of you sprinting at the opposite fence, screaming ‘think light thoughts’ before throwing yourself at the fence.
It had been enough of a ruckus for him to have stopped what he was doing to watch, and that’s when he saw your lanyard and keys fall from your pocket and into the garden on his side of the fence, just before you disappeared over the other side and ran off.