Really Fake Chapter 78: An Interrupted Dinner Date

You were all led towards the indoor dining section and sat at a round table with 4 seats, one for each of you.

Pa tried to very kindly pull Mrs Happy’s seat out for her so that she could sit down… but she wasn’t having any of it.

“No. You sit,” she directed him, pointing to the chair next to hers.

“This is for you,” he said with a wobbly grin, “I want to push your chair in.”

He tried to step around her to get behind her chair but she stood her ground.

“How are you going to push the chair?” she asked bluntly, “you need a two hand and you only have one. Now sit.”

“I can push it in with another strong item of mine,” he leered and you smacked your hand to your mouth with horror.

“You have pickle,” she stated in her thick accent, glaring at him.

“I took a viagra pill,” he said loudly.

“Shhh!” you hushed him from across the table, shaking your head as he cackled in his old man voice and sat down, letting Mrs Happy push him in, “you’re so loud! People will hear you.” You chided.

Thankfully the waitress walked over at that point so the topic changed.

“Good evening, Jessica,” pa greeted the girl.

“Oh, it’s you, Mr L/N,” she greeted in a friendly voice, “I haven’t seen you for ages, I thought you had started going to our competition across the road.”

“I could never do that,” he replied with a lopsided grin, “I’ve been in hospital, but I’m out now- with one useless arm and a girlfriend.”

The waitress looked at the very sour looking Mrs Happy and gave her a hesitant smile. “Nice to meet you,” she greeted with reservation.

“I am carer,” the supposed girlfriend- Mrs Happy, replied blandly.

“Oh I see,” the waitress said, looking from Mrs Happy back to pa, “well, uh… that’s wonderful that you are ok, Mr L/N.”

“It’s all very complicated,” you added in, drawing the waitresses attention to yourself, “maybe we’ll just order instead of talking about pa’s convoluted life.”

“Sounds good,” the waitress replied, “what can I get for everyone? Mr L/N, would you like the usual? Cabbage soup?”

“Oh! Yes. And that yummy bread that it comes with, please,” pa said sounding so childlike with his happiness, “and one bowl for my missus as well.”

“Two bowls of soup,” the waitress mumbled to herself as she jotted the order down then turned to you and Kuroo.

You and your man ordered something as well, then drinks, (and got pa his wine) then you all thanked the waitress and got back to talking.

“Umm… Mrs Happy, this is my boyfriend… Kuroo Tetsuro,” you said shyly to the carer and she looked at you, then to him, then to you again.

“He has strong arms. Good,” she stated and you grinned.

“You have strong arms, Kuroo,” you said to him, “you have been accepted into the fold.”

“An honour,” he replied, giving Mrs Happy a small smile across the table.

“Oh!” a loud, haughty voice sounded from your right and you looked over to see who it was.

It was Ms Marple…

Your face darkened.

“Ohh!” Pa warbled, struggling to get up out of his chair to face her, “Ms Marple, a long time since we have spoken.”

“Yes! Because you ignored all of my calls and never responded back,” she snapped, “you are the worst of the worst, [pa’s first name]. How dare you treat me like that.”

“I can explain,” pa placated with his hands up.

“He does not need to explain anything to you,” Mrs Happy suddenly interjected and you grabbed for Kuroo’s forearm under the table, watching the drama unfold before your very eyes.

“And who do you think you are?” Ms Marple asked haughtily down the end of her nose at the shorter Mrs Happy.

You are not even worth the explanation.” Mrs Happy replied with such vehemence in her voice that it made your hair stand on end.

Ms Marple spluttered in response to Mrs Happy’s very pointed reply, not knowing what to say.

“I believe it is best that you leave now,” pa said to the overly make-up laced biddy, “we are no longer in acquaintance.”

“Get wrecked!” you cheered internally, still clutching Kuroo’s arm and holding your breath.

Ms Marple jammed her bright red, thin lips together and gave Mrs Happy one very strong up and down look then turned and stalked away and your Russian savior shuddered.

“She put the curse on me,” she muttered to herself while she removed her outer coat and then put it back on starting with her non-dominant hand and slipping it into the sleeve and putting it back on, “there, that is better,” she said, sitting back down again.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” pa said sheepishly as he sat down again as well.

“It’s ok, pa, I didn’t know she was going to be here or I would have suggested somewhere else.”

“Not to worry,” pa replied with a smile, “as long as everyone is ok now?”

He looked over at Mrs Happy and she nodded.

“I cured the evil eye so I am in good health once more.”

You grinned. “Nothing worse than a curse from a plastic se…. Oh shit, I can’t say the rest… I was about to say plastic sex doll,” you screamed internally.

“The worst kind of curse,” Mrs Happy replied seriously and you chuckled, which made pa grin that you and her were getting along.

From that point on, everyone relaxed and conversation flowed easier. The food arrived moments after the confrontation with Ms Marple and every dug in, almost forgetting about her intrusion.

After dinner you all sat back holding your stomachs.

“Did anyone want dessert?” You asked.

“I can always go desert,” Kuroo said to you, giving you a wink.

“Stop it,” you hissed, poking him in the side.

“I have a separate stomach for dessert,” pa announced.

“What do you feel like then, pa?” you asked.

“Ice cream,” he said with a child-like sparkle in his eye.

You grinned. “I’m sure we could get you some ice cream, hey Tit?” you asked your boyfriend.

“Of course,” he replied with a smile at pa as he rested back against the back of the chair and rested an arm behind you, “there’s an ice cream parlor down the road from here.”

“Tell you what, pa. You and Mrs Happy stay here and Tit and I will go down and get you some ice cream, then come back.”

“That would be marvelous. I’d love to play a round of bingo with my sweetheart,” pa said, giving Mrs Happy a loving look, “what do you say… Anna.”

She looked away shyly, secretly loving that he called by her first name.

“It is fine,” she mumbled.

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