“You are an actual asshole,” you snapped playfully, shoving your palms into his side repeatedly.
“Ooo, a massage? How kind,” he teased, wrapping his arms about you then pulling you in front of his body so that he could lean over you from behind and waddle, with legs apart slightly, hunched over your body.
“What is it that you have bought me here for then?
“Grilled salted mackerel pike,” he replied, turning his head back and forth as he passed each stall on left and right.
‘And so why did you bring me? If you’re here for your date with your mackerel,” you replied in a sassy tone.
“Come now don’t be salty….”
“Did you just—.”
“Tell you what,” Kuroo said as he finally spotted the stall and steered you towards it, “let’s have a threesome.”
The lady he walked up beside whipped her head towards the two of you so fast you thought she had given herself whiplash.
“You, me, and this dish,” he leered, staring up at the big sign over the front of the food stall.
“I top,” you said, “you can eat it out from under me.”
The lady’s jaw dropped at your vulgar comment but neither you nor Kuroo had noticed that she was listening in on your conversation.
“You or Pike?” Kuroo asked, “cause I’ll eat you both.”
You sucked your top and bottom lip in between your teeth and bit down, willing yourself not to take the bait he was obviously dangling in front of your face.
“Don’t give in, don’t give in. Don’t say it, he’s baiting you. Be strong.”
“Me. Obviously,” you blurted out.
“Goddamn it, Y/N, you literally had one job and that was to keep your goddamn mouth shut but no, let’s be a whore for Kuroo.”
Kuroo’s deep, sexy chuckle caressed your ears and your body broke out in goosebumps as he bent his head to your ear.
“Don’t give me an open invite if you don’t intend for me to follow though with it,” he rasped before straightening and stepping past you up to the counter.
“You two are disgusting,” the lady beside you suddenly spat and you looked at her in surprise.
“Sorry? What?’ you asked with with confusion.
“Talking so brazenly about sexual acts out in the open. Disgusting,” she remarked condescendingly.
“Ok boomer,” you deadpanned and looked back at the back of Kuroo’s head to watch him order.
The lady started spluttering and spewing nonsense about disrespect and how her mother was dying of cancer and how you were being rude and discriminating against her and whatnot and at this point you were actually quite glad that you had gone up against Liisa and Nora because you just straight up ignored her- pretending like she wasn’t even there until someone stepped in and told the lady off for harassing you.
Kuroo, who was still focused on getting his prized mackerel, didn’t realize the lady, who was yelling, was yelling at you but when he turned around and saw the commotion he was over in a flash.
“Is there a problem here?” he asked in his best ‘pissed off’ captain’s voice.
Most of the people there looked up at him, saw his size, and shook their heads rapidly as his intimidating beady eyes glared at each in turn.
The lady started yelling about abuse again but a security officer suddenly appeared and dragged her away for a chat.
“What happened here?” another officer asked you- a female officer who had a voice that sounded familiar.
“I dunno,” you shrugged, looking at her and trying to remember where you had seen her before, “she just started yelling at me while I was waiting for my boyfriend to get food.”
There was a moment of silence as the officer looked at you curiously, like she knew who you were too- then it struck her.
“Y/N?” she asked.
“Yes?” you replied with confusion, “do I know you?”
The officer took her hat off then removed her glasses and you nearly choked.
“Hey. Listen. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about what happened in school. Liisa and I don’t talk any more. She was such a bitch and I have been wanting to say sorry to you for the longest time,” she blurted out.
“Oh. Wow. Umm… I-It’s ok. I’m past it,” you stammered.
Nora then looked at Kuroo.
“I see you two are still together?” she smiled, “I’m honestly so happy for you.”
“Uh… thanks,” you replied awkwardly.
“Oh. Anyway… would you like to press charges against that woman? I’ll make sure it happens if you want to ” Nora said with an earnest look in her eye.
“Nah,” you replied, taking Kuroo’s arm, “but if she comes near us again I’ll release my greyhound on her.” You pointed up to Kuroo.
She cracked a smile and nodded, “ok. But if you need me just ask for me. I’m part time with the security team.”
“Yes that’s obvious, Nora.”
You nodded and smiled, “ok.”
“Umm… well have a lovely evening,” she said before putting her glasses and hat back on and walking away.
“She should have said ‘have a lovely evening as the side chick to your boyfriends main meal’,” you teased Kuroo who was holding onto his dish with both hands, watching Nora walk away.
“I’d argue with you but you’re not wrong,” he leered down at you as he walked off with you by his side.
“Hey,” you pouted then chuckled.
After finding a seat away from the crowd you both sat down to eat and chat.
Surprisingly Kuroo actually shared his meal with you, letting you take the best parts while he watched you with delight.
“Now,” he said as he finished up, “what did you want to eat?”
“Is everything an option?” you asked cheekily, “have they got sample plates? Because I thrive on sample plates.”
“Let’s see,” he said, getting up then grabbing your outstretched hand and easily hiking you up off the grass.
The rest of the afternoon was spent jumping from stall to stall, seeing if they had samples then swiping a few and critiquing them between yourselves before moving on.
“Ugh.” You pulled a face at something you had picked up and shoved into your mouth “What is this? Tastes like…. regret.”
Kuroo hyena laughed.
“What was it? Was that from the last stall?”
“I want to taste regret. Let’s go back.”
“No, why? You’re already dating regret so you should know what it tastes like already,” you self depreciated, turning it into a joke.
“That’s not even funny,” Kuroo said, grabbing you and cupping your face so he could kiss you right in the middle of the busy laneway.
“I make fun of myself so that when I say it before anyone else does, it doesn’t hurt as bad,” you whispered against his lips.