Really Fake Chapter 51: Discharged

“Here’s my ride!” pa warbled when you and Kuroo entered the room a half hour later, “are we stopping at the ice cream shop first?”

You smiled at him as you walked over and leaned across the bed to give him a warm hug, “if you want ice cream, then ice cream you shall have!”

“Hooray!” he slurred, raising his right arm with childlike excitement, his left still hanging limp by his side.

Sadly your eyes were drawn to it and you tried not to let your concern show on your face by continuing talking.

“Uh, ok… let’s get you ready to go,” you said, trying to continue on normally, “have they discharged you yet?”

“I have no clue,” he replied happily, “but I’m getting outta here and that’s that!”

“Ok, well first let’s get you into your clothes because you can’t go home in the hospital gown. I’ll go and see if nurse Patience is here.”

“She’s here alright, I proposed to her again this morning! She’s a pocket rocket that one, keeps me guessing,” he replied with an elderly chuckle and bemused shake of the head.

“Pa, she’s married,” you said with a chuckle.

“She married the wrong man, I tell you.”

“Ok, well, let’s leave the domestics here and get you home. Then we can find you a different wife.”

“Oh ho!” he warbled excitedly, struggling to sit up, “now I’m interested! Let’s go!”

“Hold on, pa, I need to get the nurse, don’t try and hop out, DON’T TRY AND HOP OUT!”

But pa was on a mission and you were struggling to stop him.

“Kuroo???” you called to your boyfriend who was standing behind you being about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

“Hmm?” he hummed, distracted by your ass.

“A little help, please?? God, pa, how are you so strong!”

“I want a wife!” pa warbled.

“God,” you muttered, “Kuroo, hold him please, I need to get the nurse “

Kuroo finally pulled his mind from your behind and stepped forward to hold your pa from hopping out of bed while you ran into the hall to get a nurse.

“Hi,” you called to the first lady in uniform you came across, “my pa… mr L/N, is trying to hop out of bed. Can I get some assistance, please?”

“Piper!” the nurse yelled to another nurse nearby, “gimme a hand with ‘handsy’ will you?” she called, running after you back to the room.

The other nurse nearby- Piper, immediately jumped to help and sprinted with you both to pa’s room.

“Mr L/N,” the first nurse addressed him, “please lie back.”

“Oh,” he greeted brightly, “it’s you, wife.”

“Pa, how many wives do you have?” you asked him, resuming your position next to Kuroo.

“She’s my Thursday wife,” he replied, slowly laying back.

“Well, at least he knows what day it is,” nurse Piper mused as she walked around the other side of the bed and helped position him.

“Thank you,” you thanked the nurses, “we’re supposed to be taking pa home today but I don’t know if he’s been discharged yet?”

“Oh, thank the lord,” the first nurse whispered with relief, “let me check with Dr Wright and see if Mr L/N has been cleared.”

“Ok, thank you,” you said with a smile, patting pa’s hand as he lay under heavy watch from you, Kuroo, and nurse Piper.

It was silent for a bit then you spoke again.

“Uh… I noticed your other nurse friend called my pa, Mr handsy?”

“Yes….” she replied, “your pa… is a very touchy-feely type of person,” she added-putting it very diplomatically.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry” you said with a grimace.

“We’re used to it, unfortunately,” the nurse replied, “it doesn’t make it right but in the nursing game you end up with all types.”

“We’ll take him off your hands then,” you replied with an apologetic look, “after today that’s one less person to have to deal with.”

“Much appreciated,” she said with a smile, “he’s not that bad, most old men get this way.”

Before you could reply Dr Wright entered the room, chipper and as wild looking as ever.

“Shipping this one off today are we?” he asked in a boisterous voice, “glad it’s not in a body bag!”

“Oh my godddd, what are these jokes?!”

Nurse Piper had to look away so as not to laugh out loud and you just looked mortified.

“Nurses have a very different sense of humour, oh my god.”

“Anyway! Good, good, good, let’s get you spit and polished and ready for the racetrack, young man!” Dr Wright said as he walked to the end of the bed and picked up your pa’s chart.

“Thank you, doc, I’m off to get myself a wife!” pa added excitedly.

The doctor roared laughing.

“Good for you! Ask her if she has a sister for me.”

“Please get me out of this weird ass hospital!” you screamed internally.

More awkward exchanges happened and you let out a soft sigh of relief when the doctor finally signed the papers off an handed them to you.

“Here’s his license! He’s ready to go,” he said, letting out an unhinged cackle on the end.

“Thank you, doc,” your pa thanked, giving the doctor a big gummy smile.

“Pleasure, pleasure,” Dr Wright replied, before giving everyone m the room a snappy salute and marching out with his head high.

‘Well. Looks like you’re homeward bound,” nurse Piper mused, “let’s get you dressed then you’re ready to go.”

It took a while to get pa’s clothes on and his bag packed, but finally you were all set and you linked arms with him to help him up to standing.

“He’s very weak on his left side,” nurse Piper said, “he can walk, but that left arm still has not improved.”

“Could we borrow a wheelchair?’ you asked her as you took pretty much all of pa’s weight onto your arm.

“Yes, that’s fine,” she replied, “I’ll organize one for you now.” She went on ahead out the door to go and find a wheelchair.

As pa shuffled out into the hallway nurse Patience was just walking past.

“Oh?” she asked, stopping to chat, “leaving so soon?”

“You’re coming with me, right?” pa asked hopefully.

“No, love, I’m sorry I’m staying here,” she replied.

“Does this mean we’re separated?” he asked sadly.

“I’m afraid so, honey,” she replied honestly.

“Ohhh,” he hummed with dejection, “well it’s a good thing I’m getting a new wife soon.”

“Pa, stop telling people you’re getting a new wife, you make it sound like you’re buying one,” you grunted, still holding almost all of his weight.

“I thought we were getting ice cream?” Kuroo chimed in.

“You’re not helping,” you replied teasingly to Kuroo.

Nurse Patience patted pa on the shoulder with a gentle smile across her beautiful face, “I wish you all the very best, you keep that light alive within you.” 

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Really Fake Chapter 52: Home At Last >>>