Tamaki just gawked at you as you both sat there awkwardly not knowing what to say.
“Umm…I know it’s kinda a bit awkward sauce right now, but I just had to say something. It’s also a bit unfair of me to ask you to make your mind up about what you wanna do,” you rambled, “because I’ve been watching you, WAIT, no, that sounds weird, like, ok, let me rephrase that,” you flubbed, touching your finger tips to your temple and closing your eyes for a second before continuing. “I had a feeling that you might have been Butterfli3. No, actually, maybe I was hoping it was you? So, anyway, I was watching you in game and real life to gather some information but in doing that I caught deeper feelings …and I know that I like you both in real life and online.”
You paused, hoping he would say something but he just blushed and sank down in his seat again, covering his mouth and chin with the crook of his arm as it lay resting on the table top.
“Umm, so uh…I…I like you, a lot, Tamaki. Both as Tamaki and as Butterfli3,” you said, looking down at your hands nervously. “Ok, I’m gonna go now,” you added when he didn’t say anything in return. “I’ll be online as usual.”
You stood quickly and left in a hurry.
Tamaki was too shocked to say anything and regretfully let you leave, watching you run to the door and then put down the street.
The cool afternoon air felt colder as you ran down the street, hot tears pricking at your eyes before cascading down your cheeks.
“Does he not feel the same way now that he knows it’s me?”
That thought cut through your heart like a hot knife and a lump formed in your throat as you ran.
“This whole thing is fucked up, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
You sniffed heavily as your feet pound the pavement.
“I’ll still go on RFO tonight, though, but if he doesn’t come, then I’ll know my answer.”
You opened your eyes in your apartment in RFO and looked to your left- Butterfli3’s empty avatar was still asleep beside you and you were holding hands as usual.
You squeezed his hand and lay there for a bit, refusing to let go incase this was the last time you would ever get to hold it.
After about 20 minutes you got up. You were feeling heavier and heavier the longer it was taking for him to come online and eventually you went downstairs to your shop and opened up for the customers.
They smiled eagerly as you approached the door and bustled in the minute you unlocked it.
“Hey,” you greeted flatly, “come in.”
A small group swamped your store as you stepped aside and you watched them mill around before sighing and putting the sign out the front and set up the display.
“Hey, O/N, can you please help me decide which item would be best for me?” one customer asked excitedly.
“Yeah..ok,” you replied in a full voice as you dragged yourself back inside the shop.
“You ok?” the customer asked, noticing you weren’t as chipper as usual, “you seem kinda flat.”
“Yeah, today is just…shit. Lets be honest.” You sighed dejectedly as you stared down at the floor.
“Sorry,” the customer said, “I’m sorry today has been bad.”
“It’s fine, I’ll just go die in a hole after I’m done here,” you replied.
“Umm, ok…have fun with that,” the customer replied, “for now, though, I know it’s a bad time and all, but can you help me?”
“Oh…yeah sure, what was it you needed help with again?”
For the rest of the time in RFO, you spent it trying not to cry as you helped people and interspersed that with looking at the stairs that led to your apartment- hoping that Butterfli3 would come down and tell you he still liked you back and that he wanted to date you in RFO and in real life, but unfortunately it was looking like you weren’t going to be that lucky.
You logged out early that night. Butterfli3’s avatar hadn’t moved from where you had left it and you felt like it wouldn’t be right for you to lie down next to him on the bed again so you sat on the couch to log out.
“If I log back in tomorrow and my stupid ass avatar has fallen face first on the ground with ass in the air, I’m gonna scream, but right now I don’t give a flying fuck.”
Once logged out, you rolled over in bed and put the nerve gear headset on the table beside the bed.
“Well… all those fun times are over now, I guess.” You sighed heavily before crying yourself to sleep.
Thankfully, because the Gang Orca test and the whole Tamaki/Butterfli3 thing had happened on a Friday, you had the whole weekend to alternate between crying and eating [your go to comfort food].
You had logged into RFO each day over the weekend but Butterfli3 hadn’t been on at all.
This made you really sad.
Monday came around all too quickly and your anxiety skyrocketed as you entered the classroom.
Tamaki was there in his usual seat and your heart skipped at beat as your eyes met his.
He blushed and quickly looked away at the wall and you looked down and hastily walked to your chair before sitting down and staring at your desk.
You hesitated a look in his direction and he did the same too- his nervous eyes meeting yours once again before you both quickly looked away.
“Why is he looking at me??” You thought as you glanced over at him again.
All thoughout class you caught him sneaking peaks at you and because he was in the row in front of you and to your right, anytime he moved it would catch your eye, and you counted a good 12 times in that morning class that he had tried to look at you.
“I asked this question to myself before, but imma ask it again… WHY. IS. THE SHY BEAN. LOOKING. AT. ME?!”
During lunchtime, you and your B/F sat at a table by yourselves but you just so happened to be sitting in a position where, if you looked over your best friends shoulder, you had a clear view of Tamaki and it appeared that he had discovered the same thing.
“Yo? Loony-tune are you listening to me?” your B/F shot jealously, “you’ve been looking over my shoulder all lunch, who is it?”
“I…I have?? No I haven’t? Sorry, it’s nothing.” you replied, flip flopping between apologizing and denying it.
“You have a boyfriend! Who are you undressing with your eyes?” she asked accusingly.
“I’m not undressing anyone with my ey—ok it’s Tamaki, I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m going insane,” you wailed.
Your B/F gasped. “What about your boyfriend!!”
“Umm…ok, I have some serious explaining to do,” you said with a sigh.