Pull Chapter 58: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

“Don’t smack the ball back into my court I don’t want to have to lead this thing,” you wailed internally looking back down to the cup of coffee in your hand and swishing the contents around a bit.

“Would you be happy with a causal relationship?” Aizawa asked.

“Are you meaning hook ups?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Not exactly,” he replied, taking a sip of coffee.

You waited for him to continue.

“Seeing as we are both teachers at the same school, our professional life comes first,” he said.

You nodded, not necessarily agreeing with his statement but just letting him know you had heard him.

“And where I’m at right, now also plays a part in my wanting to maintain a degree of distance…”

“It sounds like you just want hook ups,” you stated.

“Please do not misunderstand, I care about you very much, Y/N and I would like for us to continue seeing each other but I can’t put a name to this relationship,” he said, averting his bloodshot eyes from yours.

“And why won’t you just tell me what’s going on? Maybe if you let me in I’d be able to understand what’s going on and help in some way…” you thought, looking as his face, “go on, Y/N, say it. Just say it like that.”

“Aizawa…” Your voice trailed off.

He looked at you, waiting for you to say more but you hesitated, chewing the inside of your cheek before saying the rest.

“…Was there something that happened that makes you not want to get close with anyone again?” you asked. 

“I would rather not discuss it,” he said plainly.

Your heart sank. You were really hoping this would be the time that he opened up to you, talking everything out in the comfort of your living room but that fantasy wasn’t going to happen tonight.

In response to his reply, you nodded glumly and took a sip of coffee then held it in your mouth for a bit because you had lost your appetite when he turned down the opportunity to talk. 

“Apologies, Y/N, I didn’t mean for tonight to end the way it has,” he said, standing up from the lounge and walking over to his jacket.

You just nodded again, afraid to speak because you could already feel the tears starting to well in your eyes.

He took his jacket from the chair and slung it over his arm then nodded at you.

“Thank you for the coffee,” he said politely then headed for the front door. 

Frozen in place, you didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye before he left and the minute the door clicked closed your bottom lip quivered and tears slid down your cheeks.

“This fucking sucks,” you thought, looking down at your coffee then placing it back on the coffee table again.

Feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions, you just lay down and curled up on the lounge, crying for a while about what to do about Aizawa.

…………………………

Aizawa left with a heavy heart, berating himself for how he conducted himself that night.

“I really do want to make Y/N happy. I wanted to show her that I could be emotionally available but my past is just holding me back far more than I expected.”

He walked out of the building and off down the street.

“I also don’t like the idea of a casual relationship but what other option do I have?” 

His shoulders slumped and he hung his head a little more.

“Maybe, it would be best to just go back to a strictly professional relationship,” he thought, his brain bringing up the memory of his fingers dragging down your thighs as you moaned his name and he shook his head dully, “I can’t give her up. I really do like her a lot.”

…………………………………

After spending a little time having a pity party for yourself, you got up, picking up the coffee mugs and carried them to the sink then dumped the contents down the drain. 

“Guess I should go to bed anyway and get ready for another cringe day at work with Aizawa,” you grimaced internally, walking back to the lounge room to check that nothing else needed fixing before turning in for the night.

As you looked down at the floor, you saw something black sticking out from under the end of the lounge.

Cocking your head to the side curiously, you bent down to pick it up and see what it was. 

“A hair tie? Is this Aizawa’s hair tie?”

You flipped it over a few times before slipping it on your wrist.

“Guess I’ll give it to him tomorrow,” you thought as you turned and headed to your bedroom.

…………………………………

The next day you walked confidently into the school grounds and walked up to the staff room.

“Good morning, Hizashi,” you greeted the loud teacher.

“Hey!! Y/N!” he hollered loudly when he saw you, “good morning and welcome to another day in sunny UA!”

“Hizashi, we’re not on air,” you chuckled, “this isn’t the radio station.”

“It’s still a beautiful day none the less— Is that Shouta’s hair tie?!” he suddenly asked when he spotted it around your wrist.

“I-It’s a black hair tie! It could be mine for all you know! Why would you immediately think it’s his?”

“Because it is mine,” Aizawa said blandly from behind you.

You quickly spun and faced him.

“I dropped it coming in this morning,” he lied, “thank you for picking it up.”

“Oh, uh, you’re welcome,” you mumbled, slipping it off and handing it to him, “yeah, best we don’t say that it fell off at my house while we were fucking on the lounge,” you thought with an internal smirk.

“We have another ethics class today,” Aizawa said to you, “would you like to take it so I can continue my report to Nezu on your teaching style?”

“That’s fine,” you replied in a very matter of fact tone, “I’ll go and set up the classroom then.” And with that you left.

Once you were out of the staff room, Hizashi sidled up beside Aizawa and slung his arm across the morose teacher’s shoulders.

“You came in later than Y/N,” the loud teacher smirked smuggly, “how could you have dropped your hair tie and she pick it up if she was in front of you, and entered this staff room before you?”

“Ask no questions, get told no lies,” Aizawa stated before shrugging Hizashi’s arm off and walking out of the staff room, intending to follow you down to the class room so that he could talk to you.

“I’ll get you and Y/N together some day!” Hizashi called out as Aizawa left.

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