Dabi opened his eyes, blinked a few times then shut them again immediately.
“Bright,” he grunted, raising one arm and resting his forearm over his eyes.
“It’s pitch black in here,” you chuckled.
“I wanna die,” he moaned, rolling onto his side again to face you and breathing right in your face, “my head hurts. What happened last night?”
“You got shit-faced, that’s what,” you retorted, grabbing for your nose again.
“Did I do anything weird?”
“You’re always weird… but nothing more than usual,” you replied with a chuckle, “it’s 3pm, we should head home.”
“Can we get some really nasty greasy food on the way home?” he moaned pitifully.
“Of course you can, baby, I’ll go and see who’s still downstairs and who can give us a ride home,” you said, stroking his forehead lovingly.
“Thank you, mummy,” he whispered.
“Ya weirdo,” you chuckled, flicking his forehead before getting up and heading for the door, “l’ll be back.”
You walked out and down the stairs, looking around at the mess. It was carnage. Beer cans and other various alcoholic beverages were strewn across the house from one end to the other and each lounge had someone passed out on it. Most of the sleeping victims had dicks drawn on their faces.
“What a night?!”You thought with an internal chuckle as you slowly walked down into the fray, “I think Dabi and his group mostly spent the night talking but it looks like others had a blast.”
You glanced out the back door and saw someone asleep on the inflatable unicorn, floating aimlessly around the pool with a pair of dark shades on.
“What even is this?” you smirked, watching them bump into the other end of the pool and start back the other way with a little wotbble.
“Y/N” someone groaned and and you looked over to see Sudano and Kuroo sprawled out on the deck chairs nearby.
“Hi. You both survived, I see?” you said with amusement, noting that Kuroo’s hair was completely unchanged from his usual look, “Kuroo, how is your hair still perfect?” you asked with a chuckle.
“Born with it,” he mumbled, throwing up the backwards peace sign before closing his eyes and flopping his head the other way.
You chuckled as you walked over to Sudano.
“Dabi ok?” he asked, grunting as he sat up.
“Yeah, he’s pretty smashed still though. I came to see if someone could give us a ride home,” you said with a smile.
“And I’m it, am I?” Sudano chuckled, “tell Dabi he’s a fucking lightweight if he’s hungover after only 9 beers.”
“Only?!” you thought.
“Yeah, I can drop you guys home, no worries,”
Sudano continued as he got up from the deck chair and stretched.
“Thanks,” you replied gratefully before heading back inside to tell Dabi.
After dragging your sorry sack of a man to the shower to try and sober him up, you got him back into his clothes then helped him downstairs.
“Soldier,” Dabi called to Kuroo who had surfaced now and was making food.
“Aye captain” Kuroo replied with a smirk, “you obvious can’t remember last night’s announcement then?”
“What do you mean? What happened?” Dabi asked, still leaning heavily on you.
“You made me Nekoma’s captain,” Kuroo replied.
“Drunk me is smart,” Dabi said with a sly grin, letting go of you to hold his hand out to slap Kuroo’s in friendly greeting, “I still think you’d be the perfect captain” he added with a wink, “consider it official.”
Kuroo beamed, “thank you, cap.”
“Carry on” Dabi said dismissively, waving him back to his work as he turned to you, “so you said you had gotten us a ride?”
“Yep!” you replied happily.
“Me,” Sudano said, popping his head around the corner.
“Not this bastard” Dabi teased, “I’d rather walk on glass all the way home.”
“Rude much,” Sudano quipped, “fine. I’ll take Y/N home and you can walk. Come on, baby” he said to you.
“The fuck?” Dabi snapped, “no way are you getting the privilege of being in the same car as my girl without me there.”
“Looks like he’s coming then,” Sudano said to you with a shrug.
“Shame,” you replied cheekily.
“Watch that pretty little mouth, hey?” Dabi growled as he grabbed your chin and forced you to look into his eyes, “you know how I get when I’m worked up.”
“Hot. Me next, Dabi,” Sudano teased.
“Be careful what you wish for,” Dabi leered back at him, “l’d tear your ass in two with my monster dong.”
“I’m not even going to acknowledge that you referred to your dick as a monster dong,” Sudano said as he waved his hand and lead the way out through the lounge to the front of the house where his car was parked.
“You know you want the MD,” Dabi sneered as you followed behind.
“Medical Doctor? Yeah, I do… I have concerns for the mental health of my ex-volleyball captain,” Sudano jeered, opening the rear door of his car and gesturing for Dabi to hop in, “get in loser, your girl is gonna ride up front again in case you decide to throw up. Don’t want her getting all dirty.”
You overheard the conversation as you walked around to the passenger side of the car and pulled the door open.
“You’re so Sweet, Sudano,” you said, while looking at Dabi cheekily, “at least someone in this car appreciates a lady.”
“l appreciated you a LOT last night,” Dabi replied, “your value appreciates daily. Fuck investing in property, I’m investing in you, baby” he slid along the back seat and shot you the finger guns before collapsing sideways.
“That would have been such a cool line if you didn’t fuck up the ending,” you teased, looking over the back of the seat as he lay there dazed.
“Is he dead?” Sudano asked as he hopped into the drivers seat beside you and put his seatbelt on.
“No,” you replied, “just really hungover.”
“Damn,” Sudano quipped witha smirk.
“Fuck you, Dano” Dabi growled, “if I ever die and find out that you took my wife I’ll come and haunt the shit out of you. I’d call on your grandma’s ghost too and get her to twerk on your volleyball.”
“Do you hear this disrespect?” Sudano asked you as he pulled out into the street.
“I do,” you mused as you sat down and put your belt on, “I don’t know that man.”
“You love me,” Dabi groaned from the back seat, “hey Sudano, you got fragile cargo onboard. Easy on the clutch or I’l throw up back here.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he snapped, “where’s the closest take away shop?”
“Main road,” Dabi replied, “it’s the shonky dude one, Y/N,” he added so you would know which one he meant.
“Oh that one,” you replied, “it’s near school Sudano.”
“You two have your own language,” the brown haired player mused.