Back to the other house you went, keeping quiet while Dabi made calls to various people during the bus trip.
After hanging up the phone from the final time he grinned at you and slung his arm around your shoulders, proudly pulling you into his side.
“Stop acting weird, you weirdo,” you teased, giving him the side eye while he smiled proudly to himself.
“I’m gonna be the man of the house soon,” he said- to no one in particular, as he looked straight ahead.
“Ok, you can be the man… I’ll allow it, you have my permission to say that you’re the man,” you replied smartly.
“Thanks,” he said, then paused as he realized he had been duped, “hey, wait a minute.”
You cackled, your laughter being smothered as he dragged you into his chest for a cuddle.
After suffocating face first into his shirt you stopped giggling and looked up at him, “are we really gonna get this place? I don’t want to get my hopes up…” you said sadly.
“Of fucking course, baby, I’m gonna get us this place. No question about it,” he replied confidently.
“What makes you so sure?” you quizzed dubiously.
“Because I’m Dabi, that’s why,” he leered.
You poked your tongue out at him and he quickly licked it with his own tongue, making you blush with surprise.
“Eww!” You gasped, “that’s gross weewee head,” you teased.
He grabbed your chin and pulled your face up to his, initiating a passionate tongue kiss.
“What’s the difference between me licking your tongue and us tongue kissing?” he asked, “riddle me that, huh?”
“Question time is closed,” you replied in a playfully indignant tone, pulling your face away from his.
“Hey,” he said as he grabbed your face again and made you look him in the eye, “you’re my favourite person to annoy.”
You blew him a raspberry and giggled as he squished your cheeks.
“You’re my favorite asshole.”
“You know who has my favourite asshole?” he leered.
“No, we’re not doing this.”
“I’m gonna finger you in our new kitchen.”
“Rail you over the rails.”
“We’re in public.”
“Bath you in cum in the ba—.”
“Shhhh!!” You hissed vehemently, slapping your hand to his mouth, “you’re gross.”
“You love it,” he replied between your fingers with a chuckle.
Just then the bus stopped at your station and you both scrambled to get off, trying to be first to get off before the other… you won.
“Libero’s rule.” You stated proudly as you marched ahead of him while he walked along behind you with an amused smirk on his face.
You made you way to the house and stopped at the gate, smiling back at him excitedly.
“You ready, baby?” he asked as he strolled up beside you, his turquoise eyes gazing down at you as you bounced a little on your feet.
“Yep!” you squeaked with excitement.
Dabi looked up as the agent approached and gave her a big smile.
“Sorry to call you back here so quick but we’ve decided on a second viewing,” he said with a knowing smirk pulling at his lips.
“Oh, not at all! We always love second viewings,” she said with a polite smile.
“I would also like to have this place assessed—,”
“But of course! We can have our own inspector approve this house,” the agent said with a bright smile.
“… I have an inspector coming soon. Our own inspector,” Dabi replied, holding back a look that, to you, screamed ‘checkmate bitch’.
The agent paled slightly but gave him a hollow smile to hide her hesitance.
“N-Not a problem,” she smiled weakly, “that’s not an issue. When are they arriving.”
Just then a car pulled up on the curb and a man stepped out with a clipboard, smiling at you, Dabi, and the agent.
“Right now,” Dabi said with a smirk as he raised a hand at the newcomer.
“Oh…” the agent replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Good afternoon all,” the inspector greeted as he walked over to you all, “is this the house in question?” He gestured to the house.
“It is,” Dabi replied with a smirk when he saw the look of thinly veiled fear on the agent’s face, “I wonder when the last time was, that this house had an inspection,” he thought.
The inspector stepped forward and passed the agent at the gate.
“You don’t mind if I go ahead and have a look, do you?” he asked the lady.
“Not at all,” she replied with a laugh laced with concern, “feel free to ask if you need me for anything.”
“I will,” he replied as he stepped forward and down the path, clicking into inspector mode.
You glanced at the very smug looking Dabi who had started to follow suit, happily trailing the agent as she meekly followed the inspector to the house.
Once inside you peeled off to have a look in the rooms downstairs again, mentally planning out where you would put things.
The agent tried not to look too worried but Dabi could see her agitation growing each time the inspector’s pen hit the paper on his clipboard.
Discretely she tried to text her reality, probably asking questions about when the last time the house had been checked for stability and livability.
“So,” Dabi said loudly as he stepped over to her, “we’re tossing up between a few places and there’s one that suits us much better than this house but if we could get this place at a good price, we would consider taking it….” he baited.
She looked up at him.
“What price were you considering?” she queried.
“$150,” he replied casually, like he hadn’t just asked for a while $60 off the rent payment a week.
The poor agent choked on her spit and cleared her throat hurridly, tapping on her chest while she did so.
“I… I will have to talk to the owners but this is a very lovely house, so I do think you and your partner would suit this place very well. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on such a wonderful opportunity…”
“Well… if this place doesn’t pass inspection…” Dabi replied casually, looking away and scratching his scarred cheek as he left his comment open ended.
“W-Whatever do you mean? This house is—,”
“Problematic?” Dabi asked as he noticed the inspector tapping on the walls.
The agent swallowed thickly and stepped away from Dabi, holding her phone up.
“Let me make a quick call,” she said, glancing at the inspector once again.
Dabi smirked and turned back to you, “we have the place, I can feel it,” he said lowly before walking over to the inspector.
“What’s the prognosis, doc?” he asked smuggly.
The inspector tapped the page that he had been writing things down on with his pen, then looked up at Dabi.
“It’s looking good for you… not so much for those who are trying to rent the place out…” he said.