“What is this? Gang up on daddy?” Dabi asked as you chuckled away beside him.
“You need to give it back right now or I’ll never ever be your friend ever again,” Koemi said sternly.
“Yeah, daddy,” you said to him with one eyebrow raised and a cheeky smirk on your face.
“I’m being picked on. This is bullying,” he rebutted, making you laugh.
“Promise you’ll give it back!” Koemi said loudly.
“Ok! Ok, I’ll give it back,” he said, looking across at you, “come here, mummy, I’ll give you a kiss to give it back.”
“Ok,” you replied with a grin, leaning over for his lips to meet yours.
“Did he give it back to you mummy?” koemi asked you, her big grey eyes staring into your intently.
“Yeah. He gave it back,” you said to her, “thank you for helping me get it back.”
“Good, daddy,” she said, leaning forward to pat him on the head.
“I actually feel so special,” he said, “thank you.”
“It’s ok,” she replied with a genuine smile and you patted her on the head.
The rest of your holiday was lovely and relaxing, and after it had come to an end you came back to the grind, picking up pretty much where you had left off and within 2 days back at work and practice it didn’t feel like you had even had a holiday.
“I need a holiday,” you moaned to Dabi.
“We got back from a holiday on Monday?” he replied.
“I know, but I’m already tired,” you groaned, flopping onto the table.
“Mummy?” Koemi asked, walking into the room with the jar of walnuts in her hands, “can you open this fucking thing?”
You nearly died.
“Koemi Azure Todoroki! We don’t say that word!”
“What word?” she asked.
“Walnuts,” Dabi said to her.
“No! Not walnuts,” you chided, “we don’t say ‘fucking’ or ‘fuck’ or any of those words.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because it’s a bad word.”
“But daddy and uncle Hanta say it all the time?” she said, looking at Dabi with a look of accusation.
“Yes.” You shot Dabi a look. “But it’s not good to say it.”
“Is daddy bad?” she asked.
“No, no… you can say it when you’re grown up but not when you’re 3.”
“But I had my birthday,” she replied.
“Yes I know. And you’re 3 now, but that’s not an adult.”
“When will I be a adult?” she asked.
“When you’re 18,” you said.
“And then I can say fucking?”
“Well, yeah, I guess,” you replied, looking at Dabi for support but he just had a smug look on his face.
“Well, personally,” he said, “I think it’s ok if she swears. But I’ll teach her to sw—,”
“Swear responsibly,” you added, saying it at the same time as him when you remembered him saying it to you before, “ok, I’ll leave it to you,” you said back to him, “go do your thing.”
“Ok, come with me, baby,” Dabi said, taking Miss K into the lounge so he could chat to her about swearing, “Let me teach you the rules of swearing,” Dabi sat her down on the lounge then sat beside her, “first of all we can’t swear at people. We can only swear at things.”
“Ok,” Koemi nodded. But Dabi wasn’t quite sure that she really understood.
“Ok… and you have a limit of 3 swear words a day.”
“Ok.” She nodded again, but again, Dabi didn’t feel like she actually understood.
“Ok. Good. Now what swear words do you know?” Dabi asked.
“Umm. Fish, umm, Big… umm… walls… umm… mummy, daddy, and—,”
“Ok… those aren’t swear words…” Dabi said, “I’m meaning fuck, shit, bitch, you know?”
“Yes.” She nodded with a blank expression on her face.
Dabi sighed and face palmed.
“Ok. I’ll tell you if you can use it or not,” he said, “I’ll tell you when you have used your limit of swearing.”
“Ok, daddy, and I need to go to the potty.”
“Uh. Sure. Off you go,” he said, gesturing towards where the bathroom was.
“So? How did the swearing talk go?” you asked smuggly as you walked into the room and she trotted out.
“Yeah, she understood… clear as mud.” He sighed.
“Well, you can take the reins on this one,” you said airily, turning and walking out again once Koemi had called out for you to wipe her ass.
Dabi sat there for a bit and thought, but he had a resolve, and that was to teach Ko how to swear properly from a young age and that would stop her from being an ass and swearing at anyone when she got older.
“I’ll ask Hanta to give me a hand,” he thought, “he’ll help me teach her.”
That next afternoon Dabi took Koemi to practice and she bounded up to Fueji with a giant grin on her face.
“Daddy said I can swear now and I can say bad people words like adults!”
“What?” Fueji asked as he looked from her to Dabi, who had just entered.
“Yeah. I need your help man,” Dabi said with a hand greeting to Fueji, “I wanna teach her how to swear properly from a young age.”
“Fuck yeah,” Fueji said with an approving head nod.
“Fuck!” Koemi exclaimed.
“She says it so clearly,” Fueji laughed.
“Yeah… can’t say umbrella but can say fuck.” Dabi said with an amused look on his face.
“Is hamblawa (umbrella) a bad word?” Koemi asked, tilting her head back to look up at him.
“It should be,” Dabi said with a smirk, “anyway, let’s get training yeah?”
“Fuck yeah!” Koemi exclaimed.
They probably shouldn’t have, but both Dabi and Fueji both burst out laughing and high fived her, making her smile brightly at making them happy.
“Fucking, queen shit right there, Ko,” Fueji said as he carried her over to the nets to start some practice.
“Fuck yeah,” Koemi said again with a grin.
And for the rest of the day, that was her only phrase, and understandably it got a good chuckle out of most of the guys to see this pint sized girl encouraging them with enthusiastic swearing.
After a big afternoon of swearing, Ko was quiet on the way home, just processing everything.
“Daddy?” she asked from the backseat.
“Yeah, baby?” Dabi asked, looking at her in the rear view mirror.
“What does ‘shit’ mean?”
“That means it’s not very good… or terrible..”
“Tebbirule? (Terrible)” Koemi asked.
“Yeah,” Dabi replied.
“Ok, because coach is a shit teacher.” She said honestly.
Dabi nearly swerved off the road as he tried not to crack a smile.
“Now, we don’t say swear words about people or at people, so what would be a nicer way to say it?” he asked, looking back at her in the mirror.
“He is bad at teaching,” she said honestly.
Dabi had to bite his top lip and pull it down into his mouth to stop from laughing.