“Yeah?” Dabi said.
The officer nodded.
“Miss Y/N, are you and this man here…
“Dabi… in a relationship?” the officer asked you.
You nodded. “Yes. He’s my boyfriend.”
The officers looked at each other then back to you and Dabi- still standing there clueless at the door.
“I don’t understand,” you deadpanned, “what’s going on?”
Just then Dabi started to chuckle deeply, then a little louder but the first officer cut him off before he could say anything else.
“Do you also work at the store?” The officer asked him sternly.
“Nah,” he replied with a smirk, “but the only thing I was trying to steal from the store was her.” He pointed at you.
“Me?” you asked with confusion.
“You are aware that if you are a customer you are not allowed in staff areas… and that includes behind the counter, even if your girlfriend is working.”
It was then that you clicked.
“Ohhh! Wait, you thought he was robbing the place?” you asked, remembering fighting him off the till and realizing how suspicious it looked.
Then you started to chuckle as well.
“Consider this a warning,” the second officer said, not appreciating the laughter from you and Dabi, “next time it’s a fine for unnecessary involvement of the law, entering an unauthorized area, and assault… if the Miss here wishes to press charges,” he glanced at you, “we saw a small portion of the recorded footage from the passerby who call emergency services.”
Your face felt a little hotter when you imagined what it must have looked like.
“We’re in a loving and healthy relationship,” you blurted out, grabbing Dabi’s hand, “promise.”
The officer nodded then took a step back. “Very well. We’ll be going now.”
“Thank you for your concern,” you added to the departing policemen.
You waited till they had both hopped back into their car then turned to Dabi as you closed the door.
“You’re a criminal, you deviant, how dare you molest me and rob the store?”
“I’m about to re-enact the footage again right here,” he leered, pulling on your hand so that you fell into him, “now… where were we?”
Your pants were hurriedly pushed to the floor.
The next morning, early, before Saturday classes, you ran to the nearest drug store to get yourself the morning after pill, making sure to take it this time.
“I still want to make babies with him but soon… not yet…”
You took it right there and then out the front of the store then hauled ass to college.
Dabi was paying you more attention that day and kept giving you smoldering looks everytime you stole a look at him in class and you’d reply his look with either your tongue poking out, or some other kind of obscene gesture.
“What else does that tongue do?” he texted you under the table in class after you had poked your tongue out at him for the 5th time.
“It sings praises to Jesus, can I get an amen?” you texted back.
“I can make a good girl go wild,” he replied, “want to practice your psalms?”
“No thanks, Satan,” you replied playfully.
“Side note. If Satan asked you out on a date, would you say yes?” he sent.
“Wanna go on a date tomorrow? Love Satan.”
“Uh… yeah, ok? Are you gonna bring your pitchfork?” you texted, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
“Depends, will you let me [redacted] your [redacted] with it?”
Your mouth fell open as you read his message.
“DABI!” you texted back, “THAT IS TERRIBLE!”
“So is that a yes or…?” He sent, giving you a leering look.
“You’re the worst. Yeah, sure.”
“Y/N! I do hope you’re paying attention in class?” the teacher suddenly called when he saw you on your phone- even though you had tried to hide it under the table.
“Yep,” you replied quickly, hiding your phone as quickly as possible.
You heard Dabi snicker from beside you and you shot him a glare which he returned with a middle finger scratch to his cheek.
“This dick,” you scowled, looking away to hide your smile, “I hate him so fucking much.”
After class you got up and gave Dabi an annoyed a look as you possibly could, then stuck your nose in the air and turned around to leave- making him scramble to follow you.
“Hey!” he called after you as your walked out.
You ignored him.
“Hey! Sex on legs!”
“Shut up! You got me in trouble!” you called back to him, hiding your smile.
Suddenly his arms were around your waist and you squealed with glee as he lifted you up, paying no heed to the other college students who all side stepped you and Dabi as you mucked around in the hall.
“Should I take you here in the hall?” he growled into your ear as he turned you to the wall and pushed you up against it.
“Stop, you criminal, don’t forget that you almost got jailed for life!”
“Slight exaggeration,” he scoffed, stepping back as you elbowed him back.
As you turned to pushing him with your palms, his eyes strayed to a poster on the wall and his attention immediately followed as he read the first line.
COUPLES TEAMS- A CHANCE TO WIN BIG!
He paused, and you saw he was looking at something else, so turned to see what had taken his attention off you.
Silently you read the poster.
“Kappuru College is now accepting tryouts for a new partnered team. Have you got what it takes?”
“Yo! We could totally try out for that! We’re so in sync we even finish each other’s…”
You waited for Dabi to respond, so when he didn’t you cleared your throat and tried again.
“We even finish—,”
“Each other… yeah, I heard you babe, and if you don’t finish I go down on you and suck that sweet little pussy till you scream for me to make you c—,”
“oh my god, STOP, Dabi…” you groaned and smacked your hand over your eyes, “you were supposed to say ‘sandwiches’.
“What? What the fuck does sandwiches have to do with it?”
“No wait. Sentences, not sandwiches…”
“Do you need me to go down on you? You’re not making any sense?” he replied with a smirk.
“That’s not gonna help,” you replied with an eye roll, “anyway, so are we gonna try out for the partner team? We could win!”
You looked back at the poster and started reading some of the fine print.
“Wait…” you squinted your eyes as you read one line in particular… “guys only?!”